Wednesday, 25 February 2009
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Dear Chicago, Die in a Fire.
Oh wait, you tried that, and you fucked it up, too!
Chicago, I used to love you. When I was a kid, my parents took me to visit you. It was love at first site. You had a ton of tall buildings, beaches, had a ton of ethnic neighborhoods, and overall, you were just bigger than St. Louis. I decided right then and there that this was where I wanted to live. However, this past weekend, I realized something. You're too old for me.
You see, Chicago, This weekend was Mardi Gras, and you did nothing but disappoint. I spent all weekend wishing I was back in St. Louis, getting wasted on the streets of the Soulard neighborhood. Mardi Gras is about drinking booze and seeing boobs. I used to think that that was what America was about, Chicago, so I don't understand why an entire city can look at this holiday and say "meh," when it's so clearly American. Is our freedom really worth defending if people don't properly exercise it?
Anyway, I can accept that you don't have a Mardi Gras parade, I don't like it, but I accept it. I also came to terms with the fact that you have ZERO street parties, I guess none of the neighborhoods have the right cultural backgrounds for it. But something today just ticked me off.
I, being from St. Louis, home of the second largest Mardi Gras celebration in the nation, have accumulated a large amount of Mardi Gras beads from the many times I've been to the parades and parties. I have A LOT of them. So, because Mardi Gras is one of my most favorite holidays ever, second only to Halloween, I wore them. Just because you don't celebrate doesn't mean I'm not going to, Chicago. I am not joking when I say nearly everyone I encountered all day asked me why I was wearing Mardi Gras beads. Not one of them stopped to think the obvious, that maybe I was wearing them because it WAS Mardi Gras. When I explained this obviousness, I got the same "It is?" from almost everyone. I suppose I can understand not knowing about it, when pretty much no one here celebrates it, but what I can't understand are the few people that responded with, "What's Mardi Gras?"
Fuck you, Chicago. Fuck you and your street parties (or lack thereof). Your pride and joy is St. Patricks day, but...
St. Louis does that better, too!
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Comments (32)
Chicago doesn't even have the tallest building anymore. They just can't keep up with anyone else.
@AvenueToTheReal - They're gonna try and build the Chicago Spire, but they can't stop being corrupt long enough to start development.
aww...never been to Chicago...or St. Louis either...
Sorry your day sucked.
*wince* sorry to disappoint >.<"
@DrugInducedDuck - on the subject of the Chicago Spire: tch they can't even settle on how they want to do tho point. that monstrosity won't get built for a loooooooong time
St. Louis Mardi Gras was pretty lame this year, too, so I hear. Cops everywhere putting the kibosh on a good time?
I did nothing for mardi gras
but it was more due to work and feeling like crap.
Sooo you've seen a lot of boobies huh? By the way i had three breakfast burritos today. . . I couldn't help but celebrate. How bout you?
@love_my_wreckless_soul - I celebrated by going to 25 cent wing night. It was excellent.
@DrugInducedDuck - yum yum! Even though im a vegetarian I can appreciate this. . my boyfriend likes to suck the marrow, I gag.
Shit, even up here buried under 3 feet of snow - in Ontario - I knew Mardi Gras was on so I hoisted a few beers and wished I was down there partying.Maybe next year.
Even here in middle-of-nowhere PA has a street party, so that's pretty pathetic. Chicago better look out before you set loose another one of Mrs. O'Leary's cows.
I speak on behalf of Chicago when I say, "No, fuck you."
@Lesabre500 - Ontario? Coolness!! I'm one west. Another candidate for the Canuck Concerns blog ring! : )
One more reason Chicago sucks: all the Asians have left.
this lameness huts my feelings. i'm sorry the Chi let you down.
of course, they do go hard on St. Patty's Day. i need to get in on that.
Where I am it's all about Festival du Voyageur right now ... A whole week of drinking beer and making maple syrup candy in the snow ... Mardi Gras? Uhmmm ... Not so much. I think some people downtown partied ...
It's amazing how a relatively short drive up I-55 takes you from the South where it's all about booze and beads and skin, to the North where they stuff themselves with Polish pastry and call it a good time. Sadly, eating pastry is even too much of a good time for me nowadays, but I remember my youth and I feel for you.
Chicago does nothing?! Oh well, I still love Chicago from just the three times I've been there.
Oh snap, Chicago! YOU. GOT. TOLD.
St. Louis has the nation's second-largest Mardis Gras party?
I admit I did not know that.
I was part of a Mardi Gras show in Soulard last year. Not the greatest memory I have.
@HardcoreMeganVol1 - There have been many, many things I wish I could unsee that I witnessed at Mardi Gras, but that's what makes it so worth it.
Thank you for the feedback! Everyone said I should give my cousins a try, so I guess I shall.
You see? You see why I hate Chicago?
Surely, as a St. Louis boy, you never came to terms with living in close proximity of Cubs fans.