Monday, 01 June 2009
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The Truth Behind Gay Marriage
The battle over gay marriage is one with facades on both fronts. While the opponents of gay marriage scramble to mask their bigotry and homophobia with repetative bible quotes, the non-gay supporters mask their true intentions as equal rights. Everybody is in it for themselves and don't really care about the issue at hand. The problem is that the opponents think the supporters actually care about the civil rights aspect, but that's not it at all. I'm about to reveal the supporter's true agenda, so here it is.
With more weddings comes more receptions, open bars and, best of all, cake. Giant, multi-tiered cake. That's right, this is what we're really after. America loves free, and free doesn't get much better than being a wedding guest. I suppose ideally you're supposed to buy the couple a gift, but I'm sure you've got something in your garage that they'd enjoy. It's all worth it in the end.
But... Perhaps the opponents have actually realized that this is what we're after, and maybe they're jealous. They know that they'll never get invited to a gay wedding due to the swastika tattoo on their bicep, and they want to ruin it for everyone else. Or maybe they just hate cake, which is absurd, even God loves cake. God loves cake so much I bet he'd let the homosexuality thing slide just to get another slice. And Jesus? Well, anyone that feels the need to turn water into wine has GOT to love open bars, so he's cool with it.
Anyway , I guess I've gotta say way to go, California, I guess you guys hate cake and free drinks. At least Iowa knows what's up.
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Comments (54)
mmmm frosting
LOL!
It's all about the cake.
As long as its nothing like the portal cake, I'm all for it!
I think Daniel Tosh's perspective on gay marriage is how I feel.
Lol, this is awesome. Open bar + cake + homosexuals = best wedding EVER! Ever been to a gay bar? I bet the reception will be like that, but with free drinks, cake, and no admission.
I thought it was all about the open bar.
Then again, it would also mean more of that shit song Billy Ray Cyrus made.
@aleesuhnmuhree - I've been to a gay bar once, and I got 3 free drinks. Win.
Cake + Booze = Smashing Good Time, Chap!
Those sick freaks who hate cake just don't want us to have any!
@DrugInducedDuck - Lol, you must be pretty cute. Most gay men have really really high standards.
And that is an epic Win, fer sher.
hahahha
amen.Â
There are some rednecks here where I am from who are against cake... they call all people slightly preppy cake eaters. Guess alot of rednecks are against homosexuals too or maybe just the weddings.
...
*kisses cheek* you're awesome, luv. don't ever loose your spark :)
Haha! Very smart.
I love cake!
Very good!
Fantastic. I thought this was going to be serious, but it's so much better this way.
Oh! Oooh! What kind of cake do you want? I'm not picky about cake (hello, ass, I've missed you) so whatever you want is cool, as long as it's shaped like a video game console. Word. <3
For just a moment there you had me fooled and slightly offended but then... BAM.. FUCKING CAKE!
You got me sir. I salute you.
mmm, cake :D
I LOVE CAKE...chocolate preferably, and ALCOHOL IS GREAT! GO GAY MARRIAGES WHOOOO!!!
I am glad you let us know what was going on.
Yum! Cake! I want chocolate! Or cocanut! Or maybe peanut butter with banana cream filling? Even white cake would be good. I just want cake. We all do. Let us all eat cake and no heads roll for it. The head rolling part just isn't as fun as the cake eating.
I'd fucking go for the cake and the booze. Let the gays marry, dammit!!
Angel food or Devil's food.....